George’s demeanor began to change as he recalled a memory associated
with his anger. With clenched
teeth and a loud voice he said, “It was 1996, right before my eighteenth birthday. My basketball teammate betrayed me by having
intimate relations with my girlfriend.
It pissed me off so bad.” His
reaction to this painful event had been anger, blame and deep resentment. He blamed his mother for keeping him from going
to the party that night. He blamed his
girlfriend for cheating on him. He
blamed his teammate for stealing his girlfriend.
The prayer facilitator asked God what He wanted to say to George about what had happened. George responded with even more anger and blame. With deep pain in his voice he cried out, “Why are You doing this to me? Why? …” It was unclear whether George was directing his complaint to God or to the prayer facilitator who was walking with him through this painful event.
Before the facilitator could answer, George’s attitude suddenly softened as he said, “God’s telling me that these things were my fault and that I cheat on Him all the time.” At that point, a visible and deep brokenness seemed to enter George’s body as he cried tears of repentance for his rebellion toward God, for the unbiblical vow he had made, and for his unforgivenness toward his mother and former friends.
Later George reflected “I must've somehow held on to that memory because it was instrumental in creating the inner-violent-side of me that comes out when I'm feeling powerless or forced back down without my consent! All I know now is that I've been set free from the bondage of that early childhood memory of having to use force to feel safe and the letting go of the vow to always be in control I made back in high school.”
After talking and praying together for a few more minutes, the facilitator closed the time by thanking God for what He had just done and then sealed His healing work in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
SET ME FREE by Casting Crowns
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