Most problems with marriage or other
significant relationships have their root in demanding that the other person treat
me in a certain way and thereby meet my needs. My friend may have his (or her)
faults and doubtlessly it would be helpful if he improved. However, to fall
into the trap of “demandingness” is to somehow miss the whole point of what
true relationship and love is all about.
Usually, in today’s society, when someone says I
love you he or she really means is I love
the way you make me feel. Later, when one’s partner doesn’t make him feel
as it used to, the conclusion is that he must have fallen out of love. The real issue in a case such as this is a
faulty definition of love. It is a preoccupation with getting rather than
giving.
A focus on demanding that my friends treat me a certain way, affirm me,
and meet my needs is not only self-centered. It will never improve the quality
of the relationship or cause the connection to grow stronger.
What have you learned about the area of demandingness in your deeper
relationships?
L2G would love to hear from you.
This is definitely true in my life. I hate it! Thank you for putting words to it.
ReplyDeleteThis is definitely true in my life. I hate it! Thank you for putting words to it.
ReplyDelete