Sunday, March 25, 2012

Post # 27 RELATIONAL HEALING / LA SANIDAD de RELACIONES (en Español mas abajo)

In trying to work out conflicts, we often find ourselves covering the same territory in our conversations. Reconciliation goes nowhere! The discussion always returns to my perceptions against the other person’s perceptions. We both want the relationship to experience real healing, but we are stuck.

Have you ever experienced a situation like this? Many of us find ourselves in relationships with unresolved conflicts, and we don’t know how to work through them to experience genuine relational healing. How we deal with conflicts is important because good intentions often aren’t enough, and it’s relatively easy to make a bad situation worse.

1.  Reconciliation should precede resolution (if the relationship is unreconciled).
·      If you try to resolve issues before reconciling the relationship you will likely do neither.
2.  Conflict is an issue of stewardship.
·      The conflicts in our lives are assignments, not accidents.
3. Forgiveness is the only effective solution for hurt and anger.
·      Forgiveness is ineffective if applied incorrectly.
4.  Unreconciled relationships give opportunity for demonic interference.
·      Harboring hurt and anger and withholding forgiveness is destructive and opens doors for enemy involvement.
5.  Deliberate effort is required to keep relationships reconciled.

Taken from the booklet Relational Healing: A Reconciliation and Resolution Mediation Process by the People Resources Team of The Navigators, 2006.

Edición No. 27 - LA SANIDAD de RELACIONES 

Al tratar de solucionar los conflictos, es común encontrarnos a nosotros mismos cubriendo las mismas áreas en nuestras conversaciones. ¡La reconciliación no va a ninguna parte! La discusión siempre se centra en las percepciones que tengo de las percepciones de las otras personas. Ambos queremos que nuestra relación experimente una sanidad real, pero estamos atorados.

¿Alguna vez has experimentado una situación como esta? Muchos de nosotros nos encontramos en relaciones que tienen conflictos no resueltos, y no sabemos como resolverlos para experimentar una sanidad de relaciones genuina. Cómo negociamos con los conflictos es importante porque las buenas intenciones muchas veces no son suficientes, y es relativamente fácil hacer de una situación mala otra peor.

1.  La Reconciliación debe preceder a la resolución (si la relación no está reconciliada).
·      Si tratas de resolver los puntos de vista diferentes antes de reconciliar la relación, probablemente no lograrás nada.
2.  El Conflicto es un asunto de la mayordomía.
·      Los conflictos en nuestras vidas son tareas dadas por Dios, no accidentes.
3.  El perdón es la única solución eficaz para el dolor y la ira.
·      El perdón es ineficaz si es aplicado incorrectamente.
4.    Las relaciones no-reconciliadas dan oportunidad a la interferencia demoníaca.
·      Albergar el daño y la ira y rehusar el perdón es destructivo y abre puertas para el involucramiento del enemigo.
5.    Se requiere del esfuerzo deliberado para mantener reconciliadas las relaciones.

Sacado del libreto Sanidad de Relaciones: Un Proceso de Mediación para la Reconciliación y la Resolución de los Conflictos por el Equipo e los Recursos Humanos de Los Navegantes, 2008.


  1. Question? Wonder if two friends are having difficulties and in truth you blame one more than the other one or you don't want to rock the boat with one person so you leave the other one hanging and suffering, have you ever had this situation?

  2. Dear Anonymous,

    Yes, I've had this experience ... although I'm learning that the secret to healing relationships is not so much about discerning who is at fault. It has more to do with a recognition of how what I say and do impacts other people.

    For instance, I had a conflict with a coworker where I overlooked her feedback on changes to a seminar we were teaching. This caused her to feel rejected and as though I did not value her. It took three or four conversations, the last one with a mediator, for me to get to a place where I could see this wasn't about who was right or wrong, but more about acknowledging how something I did impacted and hurt another person. Once I got to this place and and sincerely expressed my sorrow and regret for how what I did had hurt her, we were able to fully reconcile.