STICKS, STONES and WORDS

“Sticks and stones will break my bones

But words will never harm me. 1.”

This children’s rhyme is meant to help the victim of name calling, taunting, and labeling to ignore painful words and refrain from retaliation. But this adage just isn’t true. Truth is that Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are what really hurt me. 

The wisest man of the ancient world wrote: Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its' fruit.2. The Message Bible says it this way: Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit — you choose. According to King Solomon the words we speak have far greater power than sticks and stones; they can impact the hearer in life giving ways or cause them to die on the inside. 

In Matthew West’s ground-breaking song Hello, My Name Is, he sings:

 

Hello, my name is regret

I'm pretty sure we have met

Every single day of your life

I'm the whisper inside

That won't let you forget

Hello, my name is defeat

I know you recognize me

Just when you think you can win

I'll drag you right back down again

'Til you've lost all belief

These are the voices

These are the lies

And I have believed them

For the very last time

Who or what defines you? Without a healing work of God, the hidden messages you internalized in the first eighteen years of your life may impact your identity more profoundly than reading the first part of Isaiah 43:4: You are precious to Me, and I have given you a special place of honor. I love you (easy to read version).

Why is this? We were born into a world that is at war. I’m not talking about Afghanistan or Iraq, but of the secret unseen warfare between God and the fallen angels (demons) who are led by Satan (the commander of the powers in the unseen world). Peter describes this enemy of your soul as just waiting and hoping for the chance to devour someone. 

As children and teens, when others said or did hurtful things to us we came to believe lies about ourselves, God, and others. As the father of lies Satan is always looking to gain a foothold in our lives.  A "foothold" is an entry point into your heart, mind, and being. It’s like a pesky salesman who comes to your house trying to sell you something. When you open the door, he puts his foot in the doorway so that you can’t shut him out. Once the enemy gets his foot in the doorway of your life through lies believed, evil practices, or occult involvement, he seeks to convert it into a stronghold that places you in captivity and makes it next to impossible to get free.

More often than not we’re unaware of the enslaving lies we've believed especially when these lies focus on how we identity ourselves. One friend I met with had been repeatedly told by his alcoholic father that he was a loser who would never amount to anything. A statement like this is a pronouncement or curse that can shrivel how we perceive ourselves and prevent us from experiencing God's incredible love and grace.

Another way lies get sown deep within us arises from how we interpret formative childhood events. We may unwittingly believe we are invisible to God because dad neglected us or that we are unwanted because our parents fought like cats and dogs. Children are very astute learners but lousy interpreters.  

The chorus of the Matthew West song goes on to say:

     Hello, my name is 
     child of the one true King

     I've been saved,

     I've been changed,

     and I have been set free

     “Amazing Grace” is the song I sing

     Hello, my name is 
     child of the one true King

What identity are you living from? Have you inadvertently turned to the creature to define yourself via comparison and what others have said or done to you? Or have you allowed God to name you and call you into real being by listening attentively to His voice?

Don’t let others tell you who you are – be transformed and let God define you! (Romans 12:2 in three versions). Supernatural transformation powerfully occurs when God speaks into the lies we believe and sets us free (John 8:32, Psalm 107:20 and Jeremiah 32:17). This is the same power we see in the first chapter of Genesis as God literally spoke the world and all the eye can see into existence. What the sheep can't do the Shepherd can!

If you sense God stirring your heart, I beleive you'll find this spiritual formation exercise on The Issue of Identity to be extremely helpful. Click here to take a look. You can also access this study off of the “Tools” menu above.

Where are you at in your journey? What's your story? Take the time to share your pilgrimage so others can learn from you. We are all on a journey of becoming who we were created to be. None of us have arrived. 

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Notes:

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1.   This is an English language children's rhyme first reported to have appeared in The Christian Reporter in March of 1862. The last line of this children’s rhyme morphed into "but names will never hurt me" in 1872 (Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sticks_and_Stones_%28nursery_rhyme%29)

2.  Proverbs 18:21.